Beginning

For the last few days,

The sky had been crying.

From time to time, from hours to hours.

Two nights ago, 

I was sitting behind my study desk, trying to do my history homework while listening to the rain outside my room window.

Cool breeze blew, bringing in the smell of night and memories.

I stood up to pick up my study papers that went dancing around with the wind,

A sudden Melody hit my head,

A Melody my soul tried to find the moment I step into the Music World.

I was hit by the Inspiration that I was finding for since a long time ago.

I got up and sat down in front of my piano.

For the next two hours, I could only play.

The Melody I finally found from deep within me.

.
Everything is still blurry,

But I'm looking forward finish my very first song which I dedicate to Life, Music and Dreams..

Why?

The sky of my world, feels like it's gonna be forever Dark.

The music of my world, feels like it's gonna be forever Sad.

The Love of my world, feels like it's never going to find me.

Everything is so dark and hazy, I feel like I'm going crazy.

I'm going to be 17 soon.

It saddens me to be able to see the world more clearly as everyday goes by.

It frightens me how Scary humans can be.

I wonder why I feel so out of place all the time.

Girls around me, they are so fake.

What is wrong with being yourself?

Why try so hard to impress others?

People are always selfish.

People forever will not learn.

People will never cherish something until it's gone.

Is these habit and flaws originally in our gene?

Or is the world changing really fast?

What happened to the nature Mother Earth present to us?

What had humans done to the animals and plants?

Stop snatching and ruining their homes, the forests!

We have no right to do that.

Everything has it's nature.

Animals should belong to the wild, not inside a cage.

If you do own an animal, love it like you would love any other human being.

Stop abusing and destructing,

The value of each and every life is very precious.

People are no longer people.

People are turning into Plastics, Monsters.

There are no longer BEAUTIFUL people, for nobody's heart is kind and pure anymore.

Sometimes when I look into the mirror,

I feel so sad and disgusted.

Who is that girl looking back at me?

How much she had changed, her soul was tainted with awful memories and ugly truth.

Why can't life be simple anymore?

Why can't love be true anymore?

Why can't friends be sincere anymore?

Why can't relationships be honest anymore?

Why can't time be happy anymore?

As I grow older every day,

Questions of WHY continues to increase without many of them answered.

Thank You and I'm Sorry

Last whole year,

I feel like I'm living a dream.

A dream that I can't seem to wake up from.

When I do things, it feels like I'm a robot set on autopilot.

When people talk to me, it feels like I'm hearing voices from underwater.

When I study, the knowledge feels like memories from far away.

Music had always been my biggest escape.

It's the only thing that can make me feel at ease.

The only thing I know that would never judge me.

The only place where I can find Me and Peace.

I wonder if this was meant to happen but somewhere along the way.

Angels introduced me to a very nice friend.

Someone too nice for his own good.

It was the first time ever I've met someone like him,

Someone who is so serious in Music.

Someone who is constantly fighting to achieve his dream.

Someone who is so different from people his age.

Thank you very much for showing me such beautiful music and lovely voice. I will always remember to love and cherish Music.

To this person I really admire,

I want to always be able to hear you sing and play music with all your heart for it never fails to make me feel calm and somehow sad deep down this heart of mine.

This is to you, whom I could not love.

Dear you who gave his all to me,

I don't know what to say but sorry, I am very Sorry.

Sorry for being too honest.

Sorry I can't accept you.

Sorry my heart belongs to someone else who just don't want me back.

Sorry for making you sad, sorry for breaking your heart into pieces.

I am not the girl for you.

I am not good enough for you.

Do not be sad for me anymore and move on,

We could still be friends and someone who loves you more then you love her will come along your way one day,

Sorry but it just can't be me.

To you, who can never belong to me.

It's been more then 7 months since we knew each other.

I just wanna say,

I didn't fell for your Looks, no.

I didn't fell for your Talents, no.

I didn't fell for what you Have, no.

I simply fell for who you are, the imperfect you, the you with flaws and good.

I am not a pretty girl, no I am not.

I am not skinny like other girls, no I am not.

I am not short and cute like other girls, no I am not.

I am not quiet and super girlish like other girls, no I am not.

I am not weak and needs protection like other girls, no I am not.

In many ways I am not good enough for you,

But one thing I am proud of myself is I never act like someone I am not.

The Me you see is always real, never an ounce of pretense.

I guess I'm sorry for falling for you, though you will never know for I will never tell.

From now on, I will slowly draw back these feelings of mine,

So stop making me CONFUSE.

I am not like any Average Girl, I am sure you know it too.

To you, who worry about me.

My dear friend, I just wanna say I'm sorry.

Sorry for making you worry, sorry for letting you see me sad.

But it's alright because you know I am a very strong girl in Heart and Soul.

No need to try to say words to make me feel better,

I know just how much you care.

I will be good and I will study hard,

Together let's strive to be the best we can be!

Give me some time,

I will be fine.

I will always be the noisy and crazy me, the me that is always honest with you and make your life miserable, ;)

To my Band Members, who makes me Laugh.

Thank you all so much.

Thank you for making me Happy when I'm with you guys.

I'm glad I can be myself when I'm with you guys without fearing you all judging me.

Sorry if I'm too noisy and crazy at times,

But I hope I am able to make you all enjoy the time when we practice together,

Everything was a wonderful experience.

I hope we can do many more performances together in the future.

To Band Society, that taught me so much.

I am very glad I met each and everyone of you in Band Society.

You all made me realize the world of Music is really beautiful.

I hope everyone can keep on improving themselves and fly high in success one day when we all grew up and go our separate ways.

To ME, who is Confused.

There is no point in being sad anymore.

As long as there is Music, life will still be Colorful.

Don't be too Disappointed in Love,

Also walk forward in Life.

One day, someone who really loves you will come,

Until then, you'll have to love yourself a little bit more, be good to yourself a little bit more.

Don't lost your focus in your Goals in Life.

Spend more time with Music,

Remember the happy times instead of all the Sad times.

Always run after that dream of yours and strive to achieve the best.

Always face Music with a very Honest Heart.

Always sing and play Music with your Soul and Heart.

Smile when facing the world, be strong when overcoming obstacles.

This way,

I guess I will be Alright...