WHY?

There are times when I wonder what the hell am I doing?? I would stop in my tracks, look around and found myself feeling lost. There are also times when I try to search for the meaning of life. As stupid as it sounds, that's what I've been searching for for quite awhile now.


I never understand why humans exist at the first place. Are we created by God out of his amusement or his imperfection? Why do we have to live...And then die? What's the point of this cycle. Or are we sinners, who had done something really wrong and our punishment is to try survive as a human being in this world called Earth?

Perhaps there is no God, we're just part of nature in this planet called Earth. We are mammals known as apes that are able to communicate and interact. Then, we were named human beings because of our capabilities. The truth is, I don't know. Just like everyone else. Who? Why? How? Where? When? I have no idea.

Life. From what I know, is like a game. We can't play too hard and hell! No one ever play by rules. In my short 15 years of life, I found something called friendship, family and relationships. I learned that friendships come and go. We can never be too near to friends. Family are the ones who are always there when I fall but they are the ones who hurt me the most.

I found out that nothing stays and last forever. Just like every other teenager in this planet, I feel annoyed, frustrated and I don't know what the hell I want. I know that I'm lucky in lots of way. I may not have a perfect family, well, that's a whole different story. I have great friends, I have my partners(my instruments) and a silly dog at home. I guess it's enough sometimes.


But there are times when some of these important things in my life will have to go. Even if I don't want it to go, it still do. Nothing can stay in my grasp forever, or at least, as long as I want it to.

Everyone around me is always so caught up with reality. Chasing fame, wealth, power, love and possessions 'till they forget who they are. They are like actors, trying to live life that doesn't belong to them. Why?

Plastic surgeries, designer clothes, branded bags, pretty shoes, expensive watches, perfume and colognes, all these temporary things. Is it really worth it to chase after such things? We still get old no matter how much make ups and surgeries, fashion and styles come and go. Everything fades and vanishes with time. Why can't anyone understand that?

Hahaha...Everyday, I would sit and wonder, why the hell are we, the human beings are so foolish? And maybe, just maybe, I'll find out one day. Hopefully..

English or Melayu??

Hi..My name is F.F.May. I'm 15 years old this year and I live in Malaysia. Today, as usual I woke up at 6.30 am and practically have to drag my half asleep body to school. It was during seventh period today. (I think). My teacher, English teacher, told me the most unexceptable news I've ever heard. And no. It's not about the death of MJ.

"From 2012 on, Malaysia's Maths and Science will change back to Bahasa Melayu. I think it's official." she told the whole class. Me being myself, stared at her with my mouth hung open in disbelief.

"No way!" I told my teacher. But she said yes way, it's in the newpaper front page. (Not very sure, but that's what she told me). I started arguing with my teacher but she couldn't do anything, it's not up to her decision.

Then I thought, what is this STUPID thing about? Why change back these two VERY important subjects back to Malay? Isn't it better this way? From what I heard, the reason they made this decision is because:

a) Students' grades are falling since the change to english.

b) People who lives in "kampung" a.k.a villages can't understand english, don't have a chance to learn it and certainly can't study Maths and Science in that language.

c) Something about keeping Malay Tradition and teachers don't know how to teach in english because it's not our Mother language.



I personally don't think these are good reasons to change these two subjects back to Malay. I watched a talk show a fews months ago. Based on the same subject I'm talking about right now. I think it's called "Point Of View", I don't really remember. A man and woman were discussing(more like debating) about whether or not Maths and Science should be changed back to Malay.

The man(the 'agree' party) said YES! We should totally let our students study in their mother language. Why other countries can study in their own language but not us?

I have a VERY good answer for that question. First, the mother language of this country is not a widely known language. Will it really be useful if we continue to study in this language that we may not use it many other countries in the future?

English is International language. Everyone in this world is using this language to communicate, to learn. The reason why we shouldn't study these two subjects in Malay is because not all of us are going to stay in our home country. We have to step out of our safe home into this harsh world one day, whether we like it or not. We're the leaders of the future, we have to go other places to learn, study and experience, places like China, America, India, Australia and so many more. We can't keep on staying in one place all our lives.

That is why we have to be capable to read and write and understand at least these two subjects in English in the future.

I don't wanna feel like a moron if I happens to study Science in UK and when they talk about biology, elephants are mammal and frogs are amphibians, I don't know what the hell are they talking about. I thought elephants are "mamalia"? Our own country should support us, give us enough preperation so we could be ready. Not pull us down and set crazy rules like this.

This is why I think Ministry of Education or whoever that made this decision should rethink again. Even me, a 15 year old know this is a big decision but please don't make a stupid mistake and ruin our country's future because WE are your future.

I'm not saying studying and learning in out own mother language is bad or wrong. But under different circumstances, we need to make different choices and decisions.

I know, I know, right now, many people may want to sue me for bad-mouthing my own country and stuffs but think about it, what I'm saying is the truth. As bad and stupid as it sounds, this is reality. Something I myself hate a lot. I know I'm young. My thoughts may be naive and reckless but I'm not a moron you know, I still understand stuffs. I still have my own opinions and thoughts and I believe there are also many people who agrees with me.

So, my beloved country, please reconsider this decision. Don't make a mistake and regret it later...