Whatever lie you say today,
You'll get it the same way ten times worse someday later..
You make the decisions,
You live the consequences.
You have no one to blame later,
Only your sorry self when all truth is found..
Life.
Don't think it's easy.
Never underestimate others,
They are smarter then you think.
Think not twice but THRICE before you act,
Lying and cheating is life swimming in water,
The harder you struggle to stay alive,
The deeper you sink
And sooner or later you're gonna DROWN.
And nobody will be there to shed any tears...
Passion
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Life's Cycle
There are times when all you wanna do is turn around and Punch someone or something Hard in the face and say "Don't Fucking Mess With Me!!"
There are also times when you knew you just can't do it, but only to grit your teeth and swallow it down..
There are times when people, stuffs, responsibilities, commitment, relationships are such a PAIN in the butt and you just wanna scream.
As you grow older, life gets more and more complicated. This is not an estimation nor is it a prediction, this is a Fact. As you grow older, just by a look, an expression, one word, a body language, you'll understand the thoughts of others.
I was scared and afraid. I was scared of all the bitter and harsh emotions humans are capable of having. I've seen with my own naked eyes, how humans would fight whatever it takes to get what they want.
Disregarding the ones around them. Ignoring the selfishness. Forgetting the love. Indulging the power, wealth, greed and fame.
What is the purpose of all these actions? What is yours, will always be yours. What cannot be yours, even if you fight without considering anything, I'll still not be yours. It's simple. It's almost unacceptable. It's ironic. It's kinda awkward. It's stupid. Almost hypocritical.
Sometimes I think all these are very laughable. When I lay silently on my bed and stare up the ceiling, I would laugh to myself. This life is so silly. Humans are so silly to a point where I find it immensely funny.
In minds, people are always plotting. Trying to think of a way to strive. To kill. To achieve. To hurt. To love. To revenge. The motives are endless. Some of us aim for the good things. While many of them are the exact opposite.
I could not understand. I don't wanna understand. I bet God is having an amusing time up there watching us silly humans running around all day long all over the globe. Our minds constantly working, plotting, planning, tiring, breaking.
Sometimes I would tell myself, "Strive for my aim. I don't need to be the best among others, I only need to be the best among the so many failure version of me. How I treat others, I will be treated the same way in return. If I want that person to smile and laugh and talk and feel comfortable around me, let me be the first to do so and I'll get the same treatment in return."
I do not Judge. Not because I don't care, nor because I'm too kind. No. It's because I know and understand that everyone is different and nobody is perfect. Each and every person is VERY special in their own ways, you'll just have to learn to accept and try to see the goods instead of the flaws.
Sometimes when I'm so sick of a certain person. I sit down and take a deep breath. I soon found myself telling me, "Try to see things from that person's point of view. There must be a very good reason why he/she do what he/she did." Most of the time, I get a bit more understanding, though there are many times that life prove me that humans are evil.
Life is health. Feelings are like health too. As you grow old, as long length of time goes by, you'll find yourself body deteriorating. When you were just a child, you could run and jump and laugh all day long and never feel tired but 50 years later, you find yourself incapable of doing so.
When you were a teenager, you do all those crazy stuffs that you regret all the time. Trouble is constantly around every corner. You can sleep for hours and never feel you'd slept enough. You can ride those roller coaster 3 times in a row and drive the car with minimum speed of 100 km per h. You act before you think. You cry before you understand what those feelings truly are.
But 40 years later, getting up from that couch feels like getting up from the roller coaster after 3 rides in a row. You think not once, not twice, but thrice! before you act. You sleep not more then 6 hours a day or your back will ache and your driving speed makes a tortoise laugh and your kids and grandchildren cringe and impatient.
At different stages of life, we come across different things, different experience. At different stages of life, you'll find yourself changing constantly. Learning constantly. Hurting constantly. And growing up physically and mentally constantly. This is an unavoidable cycle.
On days like this when my mind is millions and millions miles away or just being a space cadet, I would tell myself, "Just be who I am. Cherish every moment and enjoy life while I can. Do not be sad, angry, painful nor disappointed. I want only happiness, enlightenment, peace, joy and laughter. For now, this is enough, this is all I have and I am proud and happy the way I am today. Tomorrow will be a better day, I will be a better person with higher achievement and a happier smile. A smile that perhaps can brighten up others' day, an optimistic attitude that can probably can rub on others. Talk and act without disregarding others' feelings. And always be true to myself."
There are also times when you knew you just can't do it, but only to grit your teeth and swallow it down..
There are times when people, stuffs, responsibilities, commitment, relationships are such a PAIN in the butt and you just wanna scream.
As you grow older, life gets more and more complicated. This is not an estimation nor is it a prediction, this is a Fact. As you grow older, just by a look, an expression, one word, a body language, you'll understand the thoughts of others.
I was scared and afraid. I was scared of all the bitter and harsh emotions humans are capable of having. I've seen with my own naked eyes, how humans would fight whatever it takes to get what they want.
Disregarding the ones around them. Ignoring the selfishness. Forgetting the love. Indulging the power, wealth, greed and fame.
What is the purpose of all these actions? What is yours, will always be yours. What cannot be yours, even if you fight without considering anything, I'll still not be yours. It's simple. It's almost unacceptable. It's ironic. It's kinda awkward. It's stupid. Almost hypocritical.
Sometimes I think all these are very laughable. When I lay silently on my bed and stare up the ceiling, I would laugh to myself. This life is so silly. Humans are so silly to a point where I find it immensely funny.
In minds, people are always plotting. Trying to think of a way to strive. To kill. To achieve. To hurt. To love. To revenge. The motives are endless. Some of us aim for the good things. While many of them are the exact opposite.
I could not understand. I don't wanna understand. I bet God is having an amusing time up there watching us silly humans running around all day long all over the globe. Our minds constantly working, plotting, planning, tiring, breaking.
Sometimes I would tell myself, "Strive for my aim. I don't need to be the best among others, I only need to be the best among the so many failure version of me. How I treat others, I will be treated the same way in return. If I want that person to smile and laugh and talk and feel comfortable around me, let me be the first to do so and I'll get the same treatment in return."
I do not Judge. Not because I don't care, nor because I'm too kind. No. It's because I know and understand that everyone is different and nobody is perfect. Each and every person is VERY special in their own ways, you'll just have to learn to accept and try to see the goods instead of the flaws.
Sometimes when I'm so sick of a certain person. I sit down and take a deep breath. I soon found myself telling me, "Try to see things from that person's point of view. There must be a very good reason why he/she do what he/she did." Most of the time, I get a bit more understanding, though there are many times that life prove me that humans are evil.
Life is health. Feelings are like health too. As you grow old, as long length of time goes by, you'll find yourself body deteriorating. When you were just a child, you could run and jump and laugh all day long and never feel tired but 50 years later, you find yourself incapable of doing so.
When you were a teenager, you do all those crazy stuffs that you regret all the time. Trouble is constantly around every corner. You can sleep for hours and never feel you'd slept enough. You can ride those roller coaster 3 times in a row and drive the car with minimum speed of 100 km per h. You act before you think. You cry before you understand what those feelings truly are.
But 40 years later, getting up from that couch feels like getting up from the roller coaster after 3 rides in a row. You think not once, not twice, but thrice! before you act. You sleep not more then 6 hours a day or your back will ache and your driving speed makes a tortoise laugh and your kids and grandchildren cringe and impatient.
At different stages of life, we come across different things, different experience. At different stages of life, you'll find yourself changing constantly. Learning constantly. Hurting constantly. And growing up physically and mentally constantly. This is an unavoidable cycle.
On days like this when my mind is millions and millions miles away or just being a space cadet, I would tell myself, "Just be who I am. Cherish every moment and enjoy life while I can. Do not be sad, angry, painful nor disappointed. I want only happiness, enlightenment, peace, joy and laughter. For now, this is enough, this is all I have and I am proud and happy the way I am today. Tomorrow will be a better day, I will be a better person with higher achievement and a happier smile. A smile that perhaps can brighten up others' day, an optimistic attitude that can probably can rub on others. Talk and act without disregarding others' feelings. And always be true to myself."
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Lost
There are so many things hidden behind this chest of mine,
It feels like it's gonna burst anytime.
I want to express but don't know how,
I want to cry but no tears come,
I want to sleep but consciousness won't go,
I want to study but can't concentrate,
I want to run but I have no where to go,
I want to scream but can't find my voice when I open my mouth,
I want to talk but there is no one here to listen,
I want to think but there are just too many thoughts fighting for attention,
I want to have someone by my side but there is no one,
I want to smile but these eyes are betraying me,
I want to laugh but my heart is bleeding.
Dear heavy weight in my chest,
What are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here? When did you start existing and How can I help to make you go away?
It feels like it's gonna burst anytime.
I want to express but don't know how,
I want to cry but no tears come,
I want to sleep but consciousness won't go,
I want to study but can't concentrate,
I want to run but I have no where to go,
I want to scream but can't find my voice when I open my mouth,
I want to talk but there is no one here to listen,
I want to think but there are just too many thoughts fighting for attention,
I want to have someone by my side but there is no one,
I want to smile but these eyes are betraying me,
I want to laugh but my heart is bleeding.
Dear heavy weight in my chest,
What are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here? When did you start existing and How can I help to make you go away?
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
All my Life, I had only knew how to study, play music, have fun with friends, be with my family. It's always the same thing over and over again. It all changed, When something called Love paraded into my life, And tip every last balance I managed to maintain up until now. Sometimes when you look up from what you're busy doing, You see a sky so blue and were mesmerized by it, And you see the birds that fly so freely up there, How I wished I were one of them. By myself I sat down, Looking up I wondered to myself thousands of questions why? The only one I want, Is the one and only person I cannot have. I laughed to myself with no humor, Heart forever scared with wound that would never disappear, Soul eternally printed with your footsteps. At times like this, When I'm mentally breaking from inside out, I wonder why no tears come. I guess as you grow older, Pain become a part of life, That you don't even feel when it's there, Because you had already learned to get use to the feeling and live on.
F.F.May
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Outlines Of Dreams.
It's like living a Dream,
While I'm pretty sure it's Reality.
Time goes by and I feel like a Ghost,
Sleep is the only time I can find comfort.
Sway and drag through every day's schedule,
Like a robot, set on Autopilot.
Unable to concentrate on anything,
When people talk,
It's like listening to voices from underwater.
I hear but I'm not listening,
I see but I'm not looking,
I talk but I'm not thinking,
Everything's so Blurry,
What am I doing?
It's like standing at the middle of a busy Highway,
Vehicles shot past me in every direction,
The world seems to be moving forward,
There's only me stranded in the middle of Nowhere.
Confused between Truth and Lies,
Which is right and wrong?
Life is playing games with me.
I loose myself in my own jumbles of Melodies,
A world of Music where I could call my own.
Somewhere a voice screamed,
Heart slammed against my ribs in surprise,
I shot open my eyes,
I found myself sitting in the middle of my class.
Ahh, so I fell asleep.
The noisy chatter and laughter of all these oddly familiar people made me feel so far away,
Like I'm watching it all happen from a dream.
"Hey!"
Someone shout out to me,
Looking up in confusion, question was thrown at me.
Frowning, I didn't know.
*laugh*
How long have I been asleep?
Where the hell have I been?
How come nobody reached out a hand and wake me up?
Because right now,
I finally realized how far the world had left me Behind...
While I'm pretty sure it's Reality.
Time goes by and I feel like a Ghost,
Sleep is the only time I can find comfort.
Sway and drag through every day's schedule,
Like a robot, set on Autopilot.
Unable to concentrate on anything,
When people talk,
It's like listening to voices from underwater.
I hear but I'm not listening,
I see but I'm not looking,
I talk but I'm not thinking,
Everything's so Blurry,
What am I doing?
It's like standing at the middle of a busy Highway,
Vehicles shot past me in every direction,
The world seems to be moving forward,
There's only me stranded in the middle of Nowhere.
Confused between Truth and Lies,
Which is right and wrong?
Life is playing games with me.
I loose myself in my own jumbles of Melodies,
A world of Music where I could call my own.
Somewhere a voice screamed,
Heart slammed against my ribs in surprise,
I shot open my eyes,
I found myself sitting in the middle of my class.
Ahh, so I fell asleep.
The noisy chatter and laughter of all these oddly familiar people made me feel so far away,
Like I'm watching it all happen from a dream.
"Hey!"
Someone shout out to me,
Looking up in confusion, question was thrown at me.
Frowning, I didn't know.
*laugh*
How funny..
How long have I been asleep?
Where the hell have I been?
How come nobody reached out a hand and wake me up?
Because right now,
I finally realized how far the world had left me Behind...
F.F.May
-BoundaryOfLimitation-
-BoundaryOfLimitation-
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Night Stars
Upon the dark night sky tonight,
I sent a prayer up above,
Present me a sparkling falling star,
One where I can make a wish,
With a chance of it to come through...
Somewhere beyond the distance where my eyes could not be sure,
A light,
Almost as bright as your eyes sparkle.
Thank you God! For sending me a shooting star...
Down on my knees on the grassy ground I go,
Hands clasped together and a wish was sent.
Angels and Gods please lend me your strength,
The strength to forget love and be happy again.
A heavy burden was lifted somewhere in my chest,
Ahh, I feel so light I swore I could almost join the stars.
With my eyes closed I say goodbye,
A gentle farewell to sadness and pain,
Which I'm sure would come back someday.
Late at night and I can't sleep,
Cheeks damp and eyes sore from tears,
Dying slowly from inside out by the memories oh so cold.
A soul that cannot be mine,
I had never once understood why.
The eyes and smile that I gave my all to,
Turned away.
Something cracked and shattered deep within,
The wound Bleed
Bleed
and Bleed
In the darkness my eyes can only see your face,
The face I can never kiss when you're sad,
The eyes that can never look at me with Love.
Sometimes I really wonder if I should smile,
Because you're my Friend.
Or Cry because that all you'll ever be?
Tonight, I made a wish,
Upon a shooting star in the dark, dark sky.
Please let me forget love and move on,
Give me back all the pieces of heart I gave you,
And let me heal slowly.
As I fall asleep tonight in my cold bed,
The feelings inside has yet disappear,
Water that represents the bleeding wound of my soul fall,
From the two wells that are deeper then the oceans.
Ahh, Angels,
You made a fool of me again.
My wish didn't come true,
The feelings still remain.
I asked you to send me a shooting star,
Instead you gave me an aeroplane,
An illusion that doesn't grant any wish,
As love and pain still remains...
I sent a prayer up above,
Present me a sparkling falling star,
One where I can make a wish,
With a chance of it to come through...
Somewhere beyond the distance where my eyes could not be sure,
A light,
Almost as bright as your eyes sparkle.
Thank you God! For sending me a shooting star...
Down on my knees on the grassy ground I go,
Hands clasped together and a wish was sent.
Angels and Gods please lend me your strength,
The strength to forget love and be happy again.
A heavy burden was lifted somewhere in my chest,
Ahh, I feel so light I swore I could almost join the stars.
With my eyes closed I say goodbye,
A gentle farewell to sadness and pain,
Which I'm sure would come back someday.
Late at night and I can't sleep,
Cheeks damp and eyes sore from tears,
Dying slowly from inside out by the memories oh so cold.
A soul that cannot be mine,
I had never once understood why.
The eyes and smile that I gave my all to,
Turned away.
Something cracked and shattered deep within,
The wound Bleed
Bleed
and Bleed
In the darkness my eyes can only see your face,
The face I can never kiss when you're sad,
The eyes that can never look at me with Love.
Sometimes I really wonder if I should smile,
Because you're my Friend.
Or Cry because that all you'll ever be?
Tonight, I made a wish,
Upon a shooting star in the dark, dark sky.
Please let me forget love and move on,
Give me back all the pieces of heart I gave you,
And let me heal slowly.
As I fall asleep tonight in my cold bed,
The feelings inside has yet disappear,
Water that represents the bleeding wound of my soul fall,
From the two wells that are deeper then the oceans.
Ahh, Angels,
You made a fool of me again.
My wish didn't come true,
The feelings still remain.
I asked you to send me a shooting star,
Instead you gave me an aeroplane,
An illusion that doesn't grant any wish,
As love and pain still remains...
F.F.May
-BoundaryOfLimitation-
-BoundaryOfLimitation-
Friday, August 6, 2010
Music, our common World
I wonder what happened?
It seems like there's something wrong with my Heart.
It keeps aching every time I see you,
My brain keep thinking of you everywhere I go.
I wonder if this is a new form of disease?
I wonder if this is some kind of curse?
I wonder if I'd finally lose my mind?
Why am I so hesitant?
Through your music,
I hear and see a painful soul.
A soul that had seen bitter parts of life,
A heart that had been broken too many times.
In your eyes,
They say disappointment and love?
A love that you cannot fulfill,
Or had someone just left without a goodbye.
Like an invisible force,
Those quiet eyes had me mesmerized.
I understood a little more when I hear your Melody,
I admire your Silent soul.
Without meaning to, without realizing,
The forbidden feelings formed inside this chest,
No, this can't be happening.
I don't need Love.
You lowered your gaze right at the moment I raise mine,
As you walked by I swear my heart nearly died,
For that 2 brief moments when our eyes were locked.
God, is this your doing?
Baby Cupids up there somewhere,
I think you'd made a mistake.
Stop shooting arrows without aiming correctly,
I happened to be shot,
I think I'm dying of Love.
The only thing we have in common is the Music world we both live in.
He can not be mine, I wonder why and I kinda knew why.
So my dear angels,
Please come and help me.
Pull these cupid arrows out of me,
Let my wounds heal and I'll be fine,
I don't need Love,
No, I'll be fine.
Once, somewhere along the way I lost my heart,
I don't need it back,
Just so it can be broken again..
It seems like there's something wrong with my Heart.
It keeps aching every time I see you,
My brain keep thinking of you everywhere I go.
I wonder if this is a new form of disease?
I wonder if this is some kind of curse?
I wonder if I'd finally lose my mind?
Why am I so hesitant?
Through your music,
I hear and see a painful soul.
A soul that had seen bitter parts of life,
A heart that had been broken too many times.
In your eyes,
They say disappointment and love?
A love that you cannot fulfill,
Or had someone just left without a goodbye.
Like an invisible force,
Those quiet eyes had me mesmerized.
I understood a little more when I hear your Melody,
I admire your Silent soul.
Without meaning to, without realizing,
The forbidden feelings formed inside this chest,
No, this can't be happening.
I don't need Love.
You lowered your gaze right at the moment I raise mine,
As you walked by I swear my heart nearly died,
For that 2 brief moments when our eyes were locked.
God, is this your doing?
Baby Cupids up there somewhere,
I think you'd made a mistake.
Stop shooting arrows without aiming correctly,
I happened to be shot,
I think I'm dying of Love.
The only thing we have in common is the Music world we both live in.
He can not be mine, I wonder why and I kinda knew why.
So my dear angels,
Please come and help me.
Pull these cupid arrows out of me,
Let my wounds heal and I'll be fine,
I don't need Love,
No, I'll be fine.
Once, somewhere along the way I lost my heart,
I don't need it back,
Just so it can be broken again..
F.F.May
--BoundaryOfLimitation--
--BoundaryOfLimitation--
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Changes
We'll all come to a point in life, where Time means so much and you'll always wonder where did it go?Lying on my bed, I look up at my ceiling. It's another nothing day, another nothing hour, another nothing minute.
There are also times, when I wake up in the morning, there's a funny energy in me. An energy that made me want to live my life to the fullest. A force that push me to run first in life that day.
As you grow older, the more you'll realize that what used to matter the world to you, it actually doesn't mean anything at all..What used to be very important that you would do anything for it turns out to be laughable thing.
As time goes by, I changed and so did you.. Along with Time, all of us grew up just a little bit. Just a little more. Age does not limit your ability to learn, everyday I'm growing, every minute I'm learning.
Growing takes a long time. Sometimes deep within this stubborn heart I KNOW! that what's wrong and what's not. But I would chose to ignore, and go ahead with my own way. Again and again I wound up in the wrong path until I'm willing to sit down and think and tell myself,
It's Time To Grow Up.
Everyday, I'm understanding more. If only I can turn back time to ten years ago. When I was still a kid, when I didn't know what a twisted world this is. But it's all too late now, the past have to remain in the past. I have to move on.
At a certain level in Life. You'll find yourself looking in the mirror and a voice in your head would say, "Hey! Who the hell is that?!"
And then truth will hit you so hard, you'll look at the person in the mirror closer, amazed to find how much that person had changed over time.
Once or twice, you'll fall in love. Once or twice you'll meet the wrong kind of friends. Once or twice you'll stumble into the wrong road. But all the lessons learned will make you strong one day..
So here I go. Here I go again. Wondering about life. Asking where did the Time go. But I guess it's time, it's time for me to accept and grow up. Though I'm not strong enough yet. Though I'm sure I'm not ready yet..
There are also times, when I wake up in the morning, there's a funny energy in me. An energy that made me want to live my life to the fullest. A force that push me to run first in life that day.
As you grow older, the more you'll realize that what used to matter the world to you, it actually doesn't mean anything at all..What used to be very important that you would do anything for it turns out to be laughable thing.
As time goes by, I changed and so did you.. Along with Time, all of us grew up just a little bit. Just a little more. Age does not limit your ability to learn, everyday I'm growing, every minute I'm learning.
Growing takes a long time. Sometimes deep within this stubborn heart I KNOW! that what's wrong and what's not. But I would chose to ignore, and go ahead with my own way. Again and again I wound up in the wrong path until I'm willing to sit down and think and tell myself,
It's Time To Grow Up.
Everyday, I'm understanding more. If only I can turn back time to ten years ago. When I was still a kid, when I didn't know what a twisted world this is. But it's all too late now, the past have to remain in the past. I have to move on.
At a certain level in Life. You'll find yourself looking in the mirror and a voice in your head would say, "Hey! Who the hell is that?!"
And then truth will hit you so hard, you'll look at the person in the mirror closer, amazed to find how much that person had changed over time.
Once or twice, you'll fall in love. Once or twice you'll meet the wrong kind of friends. Once or twice you'll stumble into the wrong road. But all the lessons learned will make you strong one day..
So here I go. Here I go again. Wondering about life. Asking where did the Time go. But I guess it's time, it's time for me to accept and grow up. Though I'm not strong enough yet. Though I'm sure I'm not ready yet..
F.F.May
-BoundaryOfLimitation-
-BoundaryOfLimitation-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)