Passion

Music.
I have a passion for music that is stronger than love between two lovers. It was my first love which I'm very sure would be my last too.

I close my eyes in bliss and calm whenever I play. My fingers danced like it all has a mind of it's own whenever it's on black and white keys or strings. Each melody represent a small piece of my soul. I can even play a whole song in my sleep. Pictures of my keys and strings would show up in my mind without effort, I would play myself a lullaby and be happy.

My passion for music, where did you go? What happened to the excitement whenever I see my instruments? How come there is no intense desire to play forever whenever I touch my instruments? When I play my fingers feel like bananas.

My music started to sound empty and cold. Like a robot playing with no soul. The only emotion I'm capable of producing is painful melody that makes me want to scream in frustration.

Dear Music,
When all things had failed, you're the one who saved me, you're the only one who could comfort me. You're always there whenever I cry, laugh, or angry. You're my bestfriend, you're my Love.
With my passions missing, I feel like an empty statue. There is no rhythm running through my whole body constantly, there is no melody composing themselves in my head endlessly.

Without you I don't think I can live. You're the only thing that I'm good at. You're the only thing that can make me feel free to be myself and boost my confidence constantly. My nights are now silent. No inspiration for new melody constantly running through my head.

Heart, I need you back. I don't know where you go but I need you back. Bring me back my love and my passion. Give me back the only thing that I can be good at. Let me feel the happiness again when everything in reality is messed up. Allow me to be myself again whenever I'm inside the music world.

Without Music, my life is too silent. Too cold. I'm scared of the feelings when there is no melody, no sound. I'm afraid I have to be a living dead.